Bullying

What is it?

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively dominate others in behaviour or/ and words. The behaviour is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict.

How many children does this affect?

It affects over 1 million children and young people every year.

Young Minds

What could the bullied person feel like as a child/ young person?

Sad, scared, worried, shame, lonely, rejected, unlikeable, abandoned, unprotected, depressed, anxious.

Utterly overwhelmed and rejected.

What are the worst things we could do?

Tell them they need to work harder to be liked or ‘get over it’ or tell them to fight back or be brave.

It can be easy to not realise how severe bullying can be.

It can be so frightening and overwhelming that children and young people can be driven to suicidal thoughts and intentions.

What are the most helpful things we can do?

Make sure that the child feels valued and known and accepted. We need to keep an eye on relationships and make sure that the ‘banter’ that often takes place is sensitive because the bullied child/ young person may not be able to differentiate between banter and slander.

Speak positive, affirming words to the child using specific affirmation and encouragement. Spot them doing something good and tell them!

Help them to tell a teacher at school by informing the parent and suggesting a letter/communication to try and tackle the bullying.

As an adult who has experienced severe childhood bullying, needs to find someone they can talk to, who can help them gently reflect on what their experience was, how they felt and what then became a negative belief that they now believe or are working hard to not believe.Usually there are few words to describe their experiences but giving them time to be listened to is important. Professional help is usually needed to unpack the subconscious impact.

Childhood bullying can have long lasting impact on the adults emotions (big, deep raw unfelt feelings of turmoil, rejection and pain rumbling in their subconscious causing odd reactions and behaviours), relationships (struggles to trust people, or pull way if anyone comes too close or defensive behaviours); behaviour (they may have coping mechanisms that hide who they really are under masks and fronts), dreams (they may have stopped dreaming in order to survive, so have few ideas of who they feel that God has called them to be)e etc