PARENT IN PRISON

What is it? 

When a parent or carer of a child is imprisoned. They might be in prison for a day, a week or several months or years. The prisons may be many miles away from the child, or even across the country. Children may be able to visit the parent in prison, but sometimes this isn’t possible due to travel issues.Ana adult who experienced this as a child would often have bene traumatised by the experience and it may impact them now in ways they may or may not be aware of.

HOW MANY CHILDREN DOES THIS AFFECT?

What could the child/young person feel like?

Some children and young people may not be told that their parent is in prison so experience a huge sense of confusion and loss. For those who know that their parent is in prison, many children and young people are shocked and experience shame and guilt when their parent is arrested. They are likely to feel confused and worried about what will happen next and not know who to talk to. They may feel a sense of responsibility about their parent not being available. All areas of life are affected and children may need to move home.

What are the worst things we could do?

The child may or may not be aware of the situation and may not know when they will see their parent again so it’s important not to speculate about the reasons for the arrest or imprisonment in front of the child or parent or with the child nearby. 

Don’t place blame upon the child that in some way it was their ‘fault' or assume that the whole family was involved in the alleged crime, or joke that the child is ‘bad’ or ‘naughty’.

With adults it is important to recognise and validate that this may well have had a significant impact on their relationships, emotions, school life, memories and future hopes and dreams.

What are the most helpful things we can do?

With children:

Let the child have fun and use calm voices around the child – they may be used to lots of professionals talking in formal settings. 

Create an environment where the child is able to play, talk to friends and feel safe with fun adult role models. 

For adults and young people:

Offers of practical help to the parent/carer of helping to clean their home if it has been raided.

Listening to them as they can reflect on tier experience and signpost to trauma recovery help if they have trauma symptoms that show they need to process their trauma.

Where to find more info or help