WHAT CAN WE DO AS CHURCHES TO HELP TRAUMATISED children, young people, adults and families? 

1. Recognise the signs of trauma

We can learn about the symptoms of trauma so that we can recognise when someone is needing some extra support. By understanding the impact of trauma we can have the language that stops any negative reinforcement that can often be a typical response to challenging behaviour. When we know that no child or young person wants to be naughty and everyone wants to be affirmed and loved, then we can be curious and not furious and we can ask what happened rather than use negative labels or get frustrated. 

2. Work with the helping adults

When we know that a someone has been traumatised then we can make some extra preparation to enable them to feel safe. With children and young people it is worth asking the parent or carer if their school is doing anything specific to help the child feel safe. Do they have a peace corner, a safe place, a special cushion, toy or self-regulation board? What does the school do or what does the parent or carer suggest? 

With adults it is worth knowing what has been suggested by their professional help and what is achievable within the church community.

3. Work hard to help every person feel safe and loved

Traumatised people can struggle to accept love and care when they have been hurt by another person. But as you try and work out how to care for them by asking those who are in their world and asking them, they will be grateful even if they don’t look like they are. We often hear from adults who remember people in their past who they may not have been grateful to at the time but now realise that their kindness gave them hope for their future. 

4. Work with your safeguarding officer

There can often be comments, behaviour and other things that may make you concerned. Always take safeguarding seriously and follow your safeguarding procedure. It is so important that everyone feels safe and is safe at church. Every comment and action that worries you needs to be told to the safeguarding officer at your church who needs to communicate with the local safeguarding social workers. 

5. Let the caring adults know of any specialist trauma recovery help

If you know of any specialist trauma recovery psychotherapy/ play therapy/ art therapy or music therapy provision then do recommend that to the parent or carer. The younger they get this help, the easier it is to facilitate healing from trauma because the brain is more malleable. Do some research and maybe see if the church can contribute to the costs. It will change their life. There is a website called the Childhood Trauma Recovery Network UK which signposts to trauma informed professionals across the UK. www.traumarecoverynetwork.org

6. Go the extra mile if you can

When a person is traumatised it can be the little things that can make a difference. For example if you remember an adults work situation and ask about it, or with children if you remember the name of their soft toy or doll or you remember that they had a party last week or were in an assembly. You may be the only other person who remembers those details and this can makes them feel known and cared for. Always say hi and when you see them at church - it should never be only if you are ‘on the rota that week’! 

‘The more healthy relationships a child has, the more likely he will be to recover from trauma and thrive. Relationships are the agents of change and the most powerful therapy is human love.’

Dr Bruce Perry (2006). The boy Who Was Raised As A Dog.

7. Never give up hope

Traumatised people need someone to believe the best for them and know that they can overcome what they have experienced and be all that God has made them to be. Always intentionally speak well and confidently about the persons skills and gifts and make sure they hear. Speak to them, and speak about them when they may well be listening! We need to be the hope carriers for a lot of families as they endure such tough things that drain them of emotional energy. 

8. Pray  

We can pray for these people. We can pray that they know God’s strength, that the plans and purposes that God has planned for them will come to fruition, that God will bless their relationships, school and work life, emotions and mind. Pray for their future, their future relationships and career. We know prayer makes a difference and it is an honour to pray for those in our care.