FRIENDSHIP DIFFICULTIES

Children who have experienced trauma often have difficulties forming, maintaining and navigating the dynamics of friendships as frequently the child aims to avoid a sense of intimacy or vulnerability in order to protect themselves from potential threat, fear and powerlessness. Children may be inappropriate or withdrawn from others as they try to keep their guard up.  

This behaviour, which can continue into adulthood, could lead to an increased sense of isolation as people perceive that the child, young person or adult is rejecting, dismissive or uninterested, which can exacerbate this symptom.

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WHAT ARE THE MOST HELPFUL THINGS WE CAN DO?

FOR CHILDREN

  • Find out if there is a toy, game or hobby that the child enjoys and see if you can buddy someone with them to help them feel like they fit in with others

  • Provide warm, empathetic, kind and engaging relational experiences with the child.

  • Role model kind and positive relationships around the child through noticing and affirming positive attributes within others and within them personally

    FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

  • Spent time with them- find ways of connecting with them through things they enjoy.

  • Find out what their gifts and talents are and try and help them by connecting them to someone in that field who can encourage them and be a role model for them.

    FOR ADULTS

  • Make sure that churches have small groups with leaders who can facilitate relationships and can provide consistency and kindness to all those who attend and those who don’t quite make it because they feel nervous.

  • Help the adult recognise that they may have issues (such as trust or intimacy) because of childhood experiences but they can now create their own safe circle of people and recognise their reactions.